


Overcompensating

by missinsertname



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Season/Series 07
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-20
Updated: 2018-10-20
Packaged: 2019-08-04 16:10:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16349843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/missinsertname/pseuds/missinsertname
Summary: Aaron Hotchner has complicated feelings following Emily Prentiss' return, and something is standing between them that neither of them really want to face.First chapter - Aaron is a child and Emily is reasonable.





	1. Frustrating

**Author's Note:**

> First Criminal Minds fic, hope you enjoy!

“Aaron, it’s two o’clock in the morning for gods sakes, get outta here before I kick you out!”

Hotch had been so engrossed in his files that he not fully registered the door opening and started slightly at Rossi’s exclamation as his head poked in. He had not realised the time, and carefully controlled his micro expressions as he responded.

“I was just finishing up.”

“Like hell you were.”

A raised eyebrow met a stern frown for a few seconds until Hotch huffed out a small smile and looked down in defeat, gathering his paperwork.

“Why are you here so late anyway?” Hotch said, unable to completely mask the churlishness that he felt at being reprimanded.

“Helping Emily – she’s on her last report now, took a while to get through the particulars of the acid attack case, the ME didn’t send their report until late last night, and what with the case today she needed to shoehorn it in before Strauss comes sniffing tomorrow.”

Hotch raised his own eyebrow at that, whilst allowing a flicker of concern to brush over his face.

“I could have given her more time if it was needed, she didn’t inform me of the delay – “

“You haven’t exactly had a spare moment today Aaron, and you know what she’s like.”

Hotch nodded, but an odd sensation stirred within him at his words, and he couldn’t help wondering why she felt able to go to Rossi and not him. They had all been together today, Rossi was just as busy, and he was even still in the building, as she well knew he would be, so why couldn’t she have asked for help?

He saw Rossi press his lips together slightly, and he knew that the same thing had crossed his mind. Before he could question it, Rossi cut him off.

“Look, you haven’t exactly been forthcoming with her since she came back, I think she feels like she has something to prove to you.” His tone was almost accusatory, but not without sympathy as he spoke, and he immediately began to draw the door closed again as if he wished he hadn’t spoken.

He was genuinely taken aback, a sensation that was neither familiar nor welcome.

“Rossi!” he said, sharper than intended as the door nearly closed, “Just send her in, will you?”

Rossi sighed slightly and nodded before slicking the door closed. Hotch paused in his efforts to sort through the files on his desk and stepped toward the window of his office, twisting the blinds open and crossing his arms as he saw Prentiss look up at him as Rossi spoke to her, a slight frown on her face.

He turned back to his desk and put some remaining files in the cabinet, stowing some in his bag for some light bedtime reading, fighting the sudden urge to look straight up at her when he heard the door open.

“Rossi said you wanted to see me, sir.”

He did look at her then, and saw her hands were drawn up in front of her and that while she met his eyes they were flicking away periodically. He took a deep breath and set his jaw, focusing on catching her eye as he drew himself up to stand in front of her without the desk in between them.

“Emily, I want you to know that nothing has changed since your return here. I know you’ve had your difficulties with the team, but you’ve made strides to mend those bridges and I am satisfied with that and your work. I was glad when you felt you could come to me when you felt low and I am,” he took a slow breath, “I am so proud of you for everything you did to protect this team and how you are dealing with everything you have been through, and I don’t expect you to have to prove anything to me or anyone else.”

“Sir – “

“Let me finish”, he said firmly, softening his words with a warm look. “I don’t want you to think you can’t talk to me, I am never going to think less of you and don’t do me the disservice of thinking I will.”

He allowed himself to take in her reaction and saw pride and surprise and warmth in her eyes and smile, but he could tell there was more to be said on her part.

“Thank you Hotch, I can’t even…” she trailed off, swallowing and breathing out a nervous laugh. “It’s just…”

“What?”

“You have been different towards me since I got back, but not like the others. I know you knew I was alive, and you know I will always be grateful to you for going through that, but you didn’t greet me, or help me beyond telling them just before I got there, it was like I had never been gone – when I tried to build bridges I thought you have allowed it but it was part of degrading my therapist’s evaluation. Some days, it’s like you and I are right back to before I left, good friends and colleagues, other days it’s like you are distant, as if…” she paused and stepped towards him, his frown deepening, her eyes widening earnestly, “as if you think I am still hiding something.”

Their gazes met steadily as he turned over her words carefully in his mind, noting dimly how they were now less than an arm’s length apart.

“I don’t think you are hiding anything anymore, and I understand why you did before, truly I do.” His voice caught slightly on a pause and she picked up on it immediately.

“But…?” she encouraged, her brow furrowing. He could tell she was trying to read him and he tried to summon irritation toward her for it at the slight sensation of vulnerability rose in his chest but found he could not, as he was astutely doing the same.

“I like to believe that I am a difficult man to fool. You managed to conceal a huge part of yourself from me, completely and entirely.”

She cast her eyes down and swallowed.

“That isn’t the issue really, I also know it is less a mark on me and more of a reflection on your skills”, he said slightly hastily. She looked back up, slightly mollified.

“The real issue I suppose is…” he broke their eye contact and stepped away under the pretence of reaching for another file to put in his bag from his desk. “I missed you. I don’t want you to leave again, and I am not sure right now if you will.”

He tried to come off as friendly, sarcastic even, but a slight inflection in his intonation which he knew she would pick up on demonstrated a deeper feeling than the mild melancholy of an absent colleague. He kept talking despite this, trusting her to understand.

“I wasn’t aware that these…feelings had affected my treatment of you on the job, and I apologise if they have, I – “

“They haven’t, not really, I promise. We’ve worked together well.”

Her tone was even, reassuring and frustratingly understanding - no teasing or testing or fight.

“You have been different too. And before you say anything”, he raised his hand and stood to face her fully again as she frowned again, more fully this time, “I know there is plenty of good reasons for that. But we did discuss overcompensating, and you have been, you can’t deny that, and it’s difficult to regain our past relationship when you are clearly still so guilty.”

She laughed slightly and shook her head slowly, raising her arms in defeat.

“That’s fair.”

They caught eyes again; Hotch could see she wanted to say more and felt something like frustration at how reasonable she was being. Before he could think about how he wanted to step toward her, she spoke again.

“Was there anything else sir?”

She was SA Prentiss again, the expressive emotion of just a few seconds ago blank from her face, and suddenly he felt angry, truly angry towards her.

He paused a few beats to long, unable to look away, attempting to tamper the intensity of feeling that was swelling inside him.

“Sir?” Her eyelids flickered, and she swallowed. He looked away, suddenly guilty himself, and shook his head quickly.

“I hope we’ve cleared some things up Prentiss, but we should revisit this soon, I need efficiency from my agents not emotional baggage at work.”

He was SSA Hotchner again too, calmly authoritative and mildly dismissive, and cringed slightly when he caught her slight hurt out of the corner of his eye. Some childish part of him whispered that she had started it.

He didn’t look after her when she exited his office, didn’t even glance down to her desk. It didn’t matter anyway – he knew she would leave soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't know why I have suddenly got into shipping these two, but couldn't stop this from writing itself - next chapter is where we will begin to see more clearly why they are struggling so much.


	2. Introspective

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The past is not the present, and there she is.

Hotch glanced at the clock, only mildly surprised that it had passed midnight a few too many minutes ago. Sitting up and stretching slightly, he glanced down to his team’s desks, spotting only Emily as she stood at the photocopier, tapping slightly impatiently.

A few days had passed since their interaction in his office, and she had been almost too normal with him. He had regretted acting in such a confusing manner, almost wishing he had allowed her to see how painful he had found her apparent ease to bury everything she was feeling. He was glad he had not however – with a few blessedly quiet evenings with a scotch on his side, and an uncomfortable amount of introspective profiling, he had finally allowed himself to ruminate on his feelings about her return.

Emily Prentiss was not his type, Aaron Hotchner had known that since they met; she was attractive, any sane person with an inclination toward women would tell you that – but there was a certain quality in the women he was normally attracted to, an innocence and hopefulness that she had placed behind her years ago, if she’d ever had it. While he had only ever really been with Haley, there had been window shopping and passing fancy over the years even while he was still with her, and while he had never strayed he always knew where his proclivities pointed him, and it was never toward his colleagues.

He was uncomfortably aware that when he was younger he had thought in a sexist manner toward women who he worked with, both as a lawyer and an agent – they were often ambitious, strong and uncompromising and through his younger eyes he had seen them to be grasping, hardnosed and defensive, fighting to be men. He knew they deserved their place, and he behaved as such to the best of his ability, but he could never equate them in his mind to the soft warmth of a caretaker, a mother, someone he could provide for and protect. He could never feel anything romantic toward a woman with a gun, nor could he quite see them with the same respect as he saw a man. He could feel a fluttering of lust towards an engaging smile or a well-placed wandering eye, he was human, but he prided himself on always being in complete control, distant and logical in brushing off those feelings.

He knew he had changed in the intervening time and, before now, had not allowed himself to consider that his tastes had too.

There had been a few moments over the last few days where he had caught himself wondering what would transpire between them if she were to catch him in his office after everyone had gone, and insist they talk properly about their what had changed between them. Perhaps he would become defensive, and finally she would be secure enough to challenge him, and he would see the women he had buried truly come back to him.

She didn’t of course, if anything she seemed even more determined to mould herself to everyone’s needs, including his – he discovered she had done a lot more work than her share on their most recent case, and had arrived at the local sheriff station each day looking more tired than the last. She had even insisted on helping Garcia formulate initial contact and records release with the local PD, cutting his initial work in half. The group had noticed that this was off over the round table, but they were wise enough not to comment, although Rossi did tighten his jaw in Hotch’s general direction.

She was sat angled away from him now, on her computer whilst poring over case files, so he allowed himself a longer look, considering his options. He could admit to her that he had wished she had made contact when she was in Paris, as he knew she had with JJ. He could admit that since the moment he saw her again he has had to control himself even more than he did when he was helping his team grieve for her. He could admit that he wanted her.

She gathered her things and glanced up, catching his eye, and he half smiled, swallowing. She smiled fully in return and raised her hand in goodbye as she headed towards the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit shorter, but want to include that little bit of Hotch analysis to move things along, this story will be a bit of a experiment as we go - would love some reviews, all kinds welcome!


End file.
